00:17 / 00:18
two poems
00:17
the clock stopped 3 years and 11 months ago at 00:17 / it doesn’t tick anymore / it stares at me and I stare at it / it stares at me and I stare at it / it stares at me / and I stare at it / it stares at me / and I stare it it /
this went on like this for a very long time / much longer than I’d like to admit / I thought if I stood very still it might come find me / somewhere / somehow / but it never did
the moon was the only old friend I had left / it shares a dark side with me it will not show unless you are willing to go around it / into the infinite abyss / it can only reflect light when there is any / I had to learn to be the sun instead / I know exactly what I miss / I just don’t know where it went
all these years I lost breaking until I bent / and started looking less and less like me / there’s a future that lives on in me / so close by / so far out of reach / I sketch the outlines of it in my mind / I know it by heart but it doesn’t know me / I can remember what it looked like / but I can not hold it / and it can not hold me / it isn’t warm or cold now / just a long time ago / I feel a throbbing nothing in my ribcage / where I think an organ used to live / it never got replaced / just removed / a transplant left unfinished /
and my body lived on without me in it
//
00:18
I move with the wind now, wherever it goes / home is a burned down wasteland / but I have hands to wipe off the ashes / sometimes there is love and it is warm / sometimes there is light and it is bright / and that is enough for now / I think I’d like to stay here a while / nowhere and everywhere at the same time
I can’t tell if I’m running from or towards now / but at least I’m moving / going somewhere new / I can’t go back to how it used to be / I will miss it forever / I hope it remembers me / when you get stripped from everything you thought made you you / you are forced to just be / and I am becoming / something / at least
I water the flowers / hope that something will grow / it just won’t be the garden I used to know